no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
