Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
