Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
