I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
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I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
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How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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