I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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