Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
