your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
no, he came in my armpit
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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