Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
the day after is always just damage control
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
