whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
