Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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