Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
