you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
