Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
