K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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