I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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