whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
