I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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