Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
