The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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