I wish i was in the wii world.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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