She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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