You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
