So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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