theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
