Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
this is an emotional support booty call
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
