Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I don't deserve a penis
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
