margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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