im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
