what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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