Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
