There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Randomize
