i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The power of my boobs compel you
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
