Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
