whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
