i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
