So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize