oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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