I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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