i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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