I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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