I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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