people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
