it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Randomize
