She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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