I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I wish you could order shots online.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
