Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
