p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
