Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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