I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
