i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
