yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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