i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Randomize
