I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
