why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
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the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
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Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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