Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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