Say something about gay babies.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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