Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize