If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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