So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
This house was built for laser tag.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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