He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
