Soap is not a condiment
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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