Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
