it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
