ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
