i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
