I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize