can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
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Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
NoShamevember. You game?
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Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize