My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
